Weight Loss Using The Dog Food DIET

I was buying 2 large bags of Purina dog chow at Wal-Mart for my dogs, Winston, Chief, Gus, and Maximus. I was about to check out when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

 

Surprised by the question, I asked her: 
"What do you think I have? A small elephant?

Since I had little else to do, on impulse, I told her: "NO, I didn't have a dog. I was starting the Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time I was on it. However, On the bright side though, I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of every hole in my body and IVs in both arms.

"I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again."

(I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was enthralled with my story by now.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food had poisoned me.

 

I told her: 
"No. I had stopped in the middle of the parking lot to lick my butt and a car hit me."

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard!

WAL-MART won't let me shop in that store anymore.