Photo Synth

Go Here

Install the software

 

http://photosynth.net/install.aspx?cid=05dc1585-dc53-4f2c-bfb1-4da8d5915256

 

Take a look at the US Inauguration

 

Amazing whet you can do with Loads of pictures!

Quite Impressive

http://gigapan.org/viewGigapanFullscreen.php?auth=033ef14483ee899496648c2b4b06233c

The world's strangest laws

The world's strangest laws

Flash Game - Fantastic Contraptions

Good Game...

 

http://www.fantasticcontraption.com/

 

If you have a Nintendo DS you can get a very similar game called
Mechanic Master:
http://www.play.com/Games/DS/4-/5600175/Mechanic-Master/Product.html

That's good fun.

And if you don't mind running the DosBox emulator you can still
download The Incredible Machine from Abandonia:
http://www.abandonia.com/en/games/25/Incredible+Machine,+The.html

and sequel:
http://www.abandonia.com/en/games/395/Incredible+Machine+2%2C+The.html

For free!

Bobby Thought...

Bobby had what he
thought was a great tattoo...


Until He Went To Prison.

Competition time

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)

Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and 'cheesemongers'?

Contestant: Homosexuals.

Jeremy Paxman: No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you

BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)

Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is?

Contestant: Geography isn't my strong point.

Jamie Theakston: There's a clue in the title.

Contestant: Leicester

BBC NORFOLK

Stewart White: Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World?

Contestant: I don't know.

Stewart White: I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow?

Contestant: Arm

Stewart White: Correct And if you're not weak, you're...?

Contestant: Strong.

Stewart White: Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name?

Contestant: Louis

Stewart White: Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song What A Wonderful World?

Contestant: Frank Sinatra?

LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS )

Alex Trelinski: What is the capital of Italy ?

Contestant: France .

Trelinski: France is another country. Try again.

Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm.

Trelinski: Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is the Parthenon?

Contestant: Sorry, I don't know.

Trelinski: Just guess a country then.

Contestant: Paris .

THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)

Anne Robinson: Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what: - Prison, or the Conservative Party?

Contestant: The Conservative Party.

BEACON RADIO ( WOLVERHAMPTON )

DJ Mark: For 10, what is the nationality of the Pope?

Ruth from Rowley Regis: I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE

Bamber Gascoyne: What was Gandhi's first name?

Contestant: Goosey?

GWR FM ( Bristol )

Presenter: What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963 ?

Contestant: I don't know, I wasn't watching it then.

PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO � MANCHESTER )

Phil: What's 11 squared?

Contestant: I don't know.

Phil: I'll give you a clue. It's two ones with a two in the middle.

Contestant: Is it five?

RICHARD AND JUDY

Richard: Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman?

Contestant: Forrest Gump.

RICHARD AND JUDY

Richard: On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?

Contestant: Er. .. ..

Richard: He makes bread . . .

Contestant: Er . ....

Richard: He makes cakes . . .

Contestant: Kipling Street ?

LINCS FM PHONE-IN

Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?

Contestant: Barcelona .

Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.

Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain .

NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)

Question: What is the world's largest continent?

Contestant: The Pacific.

ROCK FM ( PRESTON )

Presenter: Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo da Vinci.

Contestant: Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV)

Steve Le Fevre: What was signed, to bring World War I to an end in 1918?

Contestant: Magna Carta?

JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC)

James O'Brien: How many kings of England have been called Henry?

Contestant: Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth ... ER. ER ... Three?

CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL )

Chris Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?

Caller: Japan .

Chris Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again.

Caller: Er ..... Mexico ?

PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE )

Paul Wappat: How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last?

Contestant (long pause): Fourteen days..

DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO)

Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?

Contestant: Holland ?

Daryl Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.

Contestant: Iceland ? Ireland ?

Daryl Denham: (helpfully) It's a bad line. Did you say Israel ?

Contestant: No.

PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR)

Phil Wood: What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible?

Contestant: Er. ... ..

Phil Wood: It's got two syllables . . . Kor . .

Contestant: Blimey?

Phil Wood: Ha ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run . . ..

Contestant: (Silence)

Phil Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I . . .

Contestant: Walked?

THE VAULT

Melanie Sykes: What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?

Contestant: Nostalgia.

LUNCHTIME SHOW (BRMB)

Presenter: What religion was Guy Fawkes?

Contestant: Jewish.

Presenter: That's close enough.

STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (BBC RADIO 2)

Wright: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loin cloth did he play?

Contestant: Jesus.


Free Jokes R Us

I'm what?!!!

A woman burst out of the examining room screaming after the new, young doctor had told her she was pregnant, heading straight for the director's office.  After she told him what had happened, the doctor had her sit down and relax in another room and marched down the hallway where the woman's physician was and demanded, "What is wrong with you? Mrs. Miller is 60 years old, has six
grown children and nine grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?"
The young physician continued to write his notes and, without looking up at his superior, asked, "Does she still have the hiccoughs?"

Here we go again...

MS Live Writer seems to be a really good tool for posting to the blog.  I have been using email, but this is much more Wisiwyg and also alws me to to some funky stuff like include the embedded player…  Below…

Lets see if the Mrs Likes it?

 

Why is it so hard to add attachments from here?

Guess I will have to do it manually…

ISE, In conclusion

So how was it?

Well we made it back in one piece, weather was grotty but never mind.

The show.

From our perspective the show was very good.  Lots of great interest in our iPhone apps and some interesting potential opportunities.  We will have to get our heads down and work hard over the next few months to make the most of them.

The fun and Games Continue

Day 2

The day has started with a potential Cypriot distributor here so I had better go and say hello….I shall return

So it is now Thursday, what happened to Wednesday? Well..

It was manically busy. Basically we had nonstop traffic from start to finish. Which is great. Lots of potential projects ranging from single home installations to full hotel complex’s.

The TV’s seem to wow everyone as they look great and there is nothing else out there like them. As always people are impressed by the Bath-O-Matic.

We had quite a few people interested in the interfaces and, since we interface to just about everything, they all went away happy.

The stand seems to be holding together well, with no major disasters (Touch wood). We had a bit of a leak, but managed to fix that (not bad considering the whole thing was brought here in the back of a van and constructed on site.

On a slightly different note I have been looking longingly at the Optoma Pico projector. It is a palm sized projector that would be a perfect companion to my N95 8G for travelling. Ho Humm… I dropped loads of hints to the guys on the stand, but they do not seem conducive to giving me one. Not surprised really as they do seem to be selling like hot cakes.

We have collected about 100 cards and contact details so now we have to convert them into business.

Onwards and upwards…

The End is Neigh

Day 3

Having survived 2 days we stagger in to the final day exhausted.  I have no Idea how teachers do it as talking for that amount of time just leaves my head buzzing.  Also you get stuck in “Demo” mode so you find yourself trying to extol the virtues of our products to everyone you see.  Seriously not cool.

It is now 10:47 and, thankfully, it seems to be very quiet today.

Did I mention that I had a surprise visit from a chap called Phil Beck and his son.  We went to school together and I have not seen him in 20 years+  Apparently he is now married and owns an AV Integration firm in Hayward’s Heath.  A pleasant blast from the past, and nice to see that old friends are in a similar business to myself (I thought I was the only nutter!).

I have twittered some images of the Optoma Pico and they can be found at http://twitpic.com/cosmap or http://twitpic.com/1c5sw

Guess I had better sign off for now and get on with the process of talking.  I will take some more walks later to see if anything else takes my fancy.

Update from the ISE

Day 1…

A good day with a steady flow of visitors to the stand. There seems to be a large Greek and Greek Cypriot contingent here. This is good as it allows me to practice my Greek and also could give me an excuse to go Cyprus for work. Just need them to sell a few Bath-O-Matics. J

Fredy had several meetings with potential distributors in various places. Guess we will not know how good that was for a few months.

Took a walk round the show and discovered 3 halls that I did not know existed! This place is HUGE.

Seen a great little projector. It’s called a Pico and it fits in to the palm of your hand. They had it hooked up to a Nokia N95. I want one! (oohh! Shiny).

After the show we went and had some drinks with New Invor our Belgium distributor. They seem keen do shift some product.

The evening started as trip so get some diner, so I decided to dress in my trampalike costume to keep warm. As we wondered around Amsterdam we stumbled across the Extron party and managed to get in (as loyal Extron clients).

Very nice. Lots of free booze, some music and even some video games to play. A good time was had by all.

Let’s hope that tomorrow some one comes to order 100 units and make our week. I should really go round the show and do lot’s of product reviews, but I am here to demo the Bath-O-Matic so it really does not give much time to wonder. Shame the wireless facilities (and internet access in general) is so rubbish. They want to charge a fortune for access to the RAI wireless for the 3 days and I cannot seem to find details for what the “Pay-As-You-Go” charges. The internet Café in this area is too slow for words and 3G roaming is extortionate.

Enough moaning. All is good. The weather is wet and a bit snowy, but (touch wood) does not look too bad for the trip home. I guess I will post this when I get to the hotel tonight.

Snow and the ISE

Well, Well, who would have thunk it?

We saw the snow last night (http://twitpic.com/1afem) and decided to leave earlier than planned. Struggled out of London at 12:00am (http://twitpic.com/1ahs0 actually it was not much of a struggle but it sounds more exciting that way) and found the roads quite clear past the M25.

Pesky Channel Tunnel was buggered due to a frozen train, but they saved the day by putting us on the Freight Train (http://twitpic.com/1ak9m).

France rushed by as did Belgium but we had to stop by The Netherlands for a coffee (http://twitpic.com/1amad).

11:00 found us at the RAI for the ISE. A lot of hard work had the stand starting to look presentable http://twitpic.com/1ar1q by the end of play. We need to do some tweaking, but not a bad effort. Not as grand as some, but we do our best J.

On the plus side our products are innovative and certainly different. http://www.uniqueautomation.co.uk

I did take a few walks around the show to get a feel for the contents and it looks good. Looks a bit smaller than last year, but still very interesting. Tomorrow the whole place should look miles better as they will have laid the carpets and cleaned up. For that matter so will we as it has been a long day and we definitely need a clean up.

Enough wittering for now. I will try and post some more interesting info from the show over the next few days. Do come over to Hall 4 Stand PP19 and say hi to us. If nothing else you can watch Ice Age on the Bath-O-Vision.

Integrated System Europe

On Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday this week I will be at Integrated Systems Europe.

Follow my activities on twitter by looking on the right hand side of http://cosmap.blogspot.com/ or by going to http://twitter.com/cosmap

Better still come to the Unique Automation stand and say hello. Details can be found here...

Unique Automation at ISE

I may do some blogging from there, if anything catches my eye (and if I can get an Internet connection).

Been updating some websites...

I hve been twaeking some of the websites I maintain. Made some changes to

http://www.usedaeron.co.uk

Let’s see if that improves things… I will not say what the changes are as that will not let me know if they have worked.

Also I am looking for suggestions how to improve

http://www.freejokesrus.com

The look and feel is a bit sparse. Feel free to leave comments here and I may action them.

Nice ones only please!

Computer Tech Support

This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills!  If you skip any, you have to read the last one!  Unbelievable, but supposedly all true!!!!    

=================================  

Tech support:   What kind of computer do you have?

Female customer:   A white one...

 ===============
 
Customer:   Hi, this is Maureen. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support:  Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer:  Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support:  That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer:  No , wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....

 ===============

Tech support:  Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer:  Your left or my left?

 ===============

Tech support:  Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer:   Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on 'start'  for me and...
Customer:  Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.

 ===============

Customer:  Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'.  I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...

 ============== =

Customer:  I have problems printing in red..
Tech support:  Do you have a color printer?
Customer:  Aaaah....................thank you.

 ===============

Tech support:  What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer:   A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at Woolies.

 ===============

Customer:   My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support:  Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer:  No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support:  Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer:!   OK
Tech support:   Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer:  Yes
Tech support:  That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer:  Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...

 ===============

Tech support:   Your password is the small letter 'a' as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer:  Is that 7 in capital letters ?

 == =============

Customer:  can't get on the Internet.
Tech support:  Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer:  Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support:  Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer:  Five stars.

 ===============

Tech support:   What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer:  Netscape.
Tech support:  That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer:  Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.

 ===============

Customer:   I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

  ===============

Tech support:  How may I help you?
Customer:  I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support:  OK,  and what seems to be the problem?
Customer:  Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

 ===============

A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support:  Are you running it under windows?
Customer:  'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point.  The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his  printer is working fine.'

 ===============

And last but not least...

Tech support: 'Okay Colin, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.'
Customer:  I don't have a P.
Tech support:  On your keyboard, Colin.
Customer:   What do you mean?
Tech support:  'P'.....on your keyboard, Colin.
Customer:  I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!

My Scuba Profile on Yorkshire Divers

My Scuba Profile on Yorkshire Divers

A History Lesson

158 years ago California became a state.  The State had no money.
Almost everyone spoke Spanish.
There were gunfights in the streets.

So basically, it was just like it is today, except the women had
real breasts and the men didn't hold hands.

Bottle of Merlot

Free Jokes R Us 

A gentleman asked a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot to an unusually attractive woman sitting alone at a table in a cozy little restaurant.

 

So the waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, 'This is from the gentleman who is seated over there' and indicated the sender with a nod of his head.

 

She stared at the wine coolly for a few seconds, not looking at the man and then decided to send a reply to him by a note. The waiter, who was lingering nearby for a response, took the note from her and conveyed it to the gentleman.

 

The note read:

 

'For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank and 7 inches in your pants.' 

 

After reading the note, the man decided to compose one of his own in return. He folded the note, handed it to the waiter and instructed him to deliver it to the lady.

 

It read:

 

'Just so you know things aren't always what they appear to be, I have a Ferrari Maranello, BMW Z8, Mercedes CL600, and a Porsche Turbo in my several garages; I have beautiful homes in Aspen , Miami and a 10,000 acre ranch in Louisiana . There is over twenty million dollars in my bank account and portfolio. But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you are, would I cut off three inches.......... Just send the bottle back.' 

Free Jokes R Us 

Groan.... :-)

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

6. Two cannibals were eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'"
    "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
    "Is it common?"
    "Well," said the physician, "It's Not Unusual."

8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
    "I don't believe you," says Dolly.
    "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

12. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.

13. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

14. Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bar tender here?"

Here are the 10 first place winners in the International Pun Contest

1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion
allowed per passenger."

2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!".

3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were shivering. They proved once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron,"
    The other says, "Are you sure?"
    The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."

5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.
"Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

8. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate every little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ..... A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

10. And finally, there was the person who posted ten different puns to his blog, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make someone laugh. No pun in ten did.